- Wed Mar 05, 2003 2:26 pm
#32208
: FW: Heaven’s new rules
> It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the
> admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven,
> you had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would
> go into effect at noon the next day. The next day at 12:01am, the first
> person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering
> the new policy, promptly said to the man, “Before I let you in, I need
> you to tell me how your day was going when you died.” “No problem,” the
> man said. “I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my lunch hour and
> caught my wife half naked. She appeared to be having an affair, but her
> lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My
> wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was
> about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed
> that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve
> of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers
> until he fell to the ground. But wouldn’t you know it, he landed in some
> trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn’t die. This ticked me
> off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I
> could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I
> thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the
> balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and
> crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a
> heart attack and died almost instantly.” The Angel sat back and thought
> a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of
> passion. So, the Angel announced, “OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of
> Heaven, “ and let him in.
>
> A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said, “Before I can
> let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died. “
> “No problem,” said the second man. “But you’re not going to believe
> this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily
> exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing
> hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped,
> and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself
> by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this
> crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps
> on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at
> the bottom which broke my fall so I didn’t die right away. As I’m laying
> there face up on the ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I
> see this guy push his REFRIGERATOR, of all things, off the balcony. It
> falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly.” The
> Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. “I
> could get used to this new policy, “ he thinks to himself. “Very well, “
> the Angel announces. “Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven, “ and he lets
> the man enter.
>
> A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel says,
> “Please tell me how you died.” The third man says, “OK, picture this.
> I’m naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...”
> It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the
> admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into Heaven,
> you had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would
> go into effect at noon the next day. The next day at 12:01am, the first
> person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering
> the new policy, promptly said to the man, “Before I let you in, I need
> you to tell me how your day was going when you died.” “No problem,” the
> man said. “I came home to my 25th floor apartment on my lunch hour and
> caught my wife half naked. She appeared to be having an affair, but her
> lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My
> wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was
> about to give up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed
> that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve
> of that guy! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers
> until he fell to the ground. But wouldn’t you know it, he landed in some
> trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn’t die. This ticked me
> off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I
> could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I
> thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the
> balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 stories and
> crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a
> heart attack and died almost instantly.” The Angel sat back and thought
> a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of
> passion. So, the Angel announced, “OK, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of
> Heaven, “ and let him in.
>
> A few seconds later the next guy came up. The Angel said, “Before I can
> let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died. “
> “No problem,” said the second man. “But you’re not going to believe
> this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily
> exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing
> hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped,
> and accidentally fell over the side! Luckily, I was able to catch myself
> by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this
> crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps
> on my fingers. Well, of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at
> the bottom which broke my fall so I didn’t die right away. As I’m laying
> there face up on the ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I
> see this guy push his REFRIGERATOR, of all things, off the balcony. It
> falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly.” The
> Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story. “I
> could get used to this new policy, “ he thinks to himself. “Very well, “
> the Angel announces. “Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven, “ and he lets
> the man enter.
>
> A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel says,
> “Please tell me how you died.” The third man says, “OK, picture this.
> I’m naked, hiding inside a refrigerator...”
PAUL S
